Saturday, April 16, 2016

Bruce Jenner Ain’t No Homo!

 Now officially name-changed to “Caitlyn”, the former Olympian is currently teasing us with his/her “dating secrets”. Since we’re probably bored shitless with gender and sex debates as they relate to men who are transitioning, it’s always refreshing when the topic of actual sexuality comes up. Desires and dicks (and where they get put) is a neglected part of the public discourse in terms of both ideology and P.R. Radical feminists only touch upon it, while the most media-hungry transitionees stay remarkably coy on the subject. One man's "courageous authenticity" is another man's commitment to  deeply-held conservative religious values: god forbid ladylike normalcy should become tainted by the odor of sodomy and other deviant sexual practices.

 To the great disappointment of chicks-with-dicks aficionados, Jenner won’t be having sex with a man until the transitioning is complete i.e. installation of something approximating a vagina. For now, it’s just coffee…not unlike an online 30ish-claiming gay who’s just got serious about husband-hunting whilst convinced he’s sitting on a still-desirable commodity. However, unlike many “real women” – or real gays for that matter - Jenner won’t be taking it up the ass anytime soon. Not even a girly nibble on a knob in the front seat to say “Thanks for coffee and dropping me home.” It’s 1960 all over again.

 Presumably market research for a first-time sex tape hasn’t turned up the kind of dollars Jenner Inc could jump-start negotiations with. Anyhow they’re probably holding out for the big (and respectably ladylike) bucks that  “Cait's Surgery Journey” will attract.  

 And hopefully at that point Germaine Greer will again weigh in with advice as to whether or not it’s worth getting ovaries and a womb at 66...for the sake of completeness over cosmetics, if nothing else.

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