Saturday, April 23, 2016

Top 10 First Date Tips For Men & Boys





   In the good old summer times there was no such thing as gay dating. You simply hit the streets and got laid and if he stuck around he was your next loving assignment or whatever. The Zen of it all gave way to the prophylactic sensibility of a Connie Francis record, and we embraced "dating" so that we didn't appear to be what we were, while at the same time not getting what we want.

   But there's no need to wallow in the crushing disappointments of gay dating anymore! No point in trying to spiritually manifest Mr. Right! Ignore the horoscopes! Just follow these proven commonsense tips for shaking the bastards down!


1. How do I know if things are moving too fast?

He puts out on the first date.

2. How do I know if things aren’t moving fast enough?

He doesn’t put out on the first date.

3. How do I know if he’s too old for me?

“All my friends call me Lana Turner!” is a sure sign.

4. How do I know if he’s too young for me?

He won’t admit to being desperate.

5. How do I know if he’s emotionally available?

Tell him you’re desperate.

6. How do I know if he’s good in bed?

See above.
 
7. How do I not appear desperate?

LOL

8. How do I know if he’s too smart for me?

He steals your wallet on the way out.

9. How do I know if he’s too stupid for me?

He steals your doorknob on the way out.

10. How do I know if he’s a stalker?

If he tells you he likes you why not run with the idea anyhow?







1 comment:

  1. Haha I came across this post and thought it might have some helpful advice. I'm so glad I was proved wrong, I had a good laugh about some of these tips.

    ReplyDelete